


to be drunk (and in love)

by Ciezuru



Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band)
Genre: 7k words wooo!, F/F, Is It Angst?, Is it fluff?, aeon cm universe, drunk! au, hello yes im still alive and i still love yuukanen, idek even know how to tag this, is a little bit of both?, its canon that sugai yuuka is a bit of an alcoholic, listen to feelings by lauv, the song helped me with writing this, this is the longest I've ever written, yuukanen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25583383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciezuru/pseuds/Ciezuru
Summary: In which Sugai Yuuka is a bit of an alcoholic and Moriya Akane is just a little bit frustrated with her (read: in love)
Relationships: Moriya Akane/Sugai Yuuka
Kudos: 19





	to be drunk (and in love)

**Author's Note:**

> Ayy so here's a little sumthn sumthn after months of not posting anything. The recent bout of Yuukanen content sparked something in my noggin so here it is, 7k of word vomit that I'm pretty sure doesn't make sense. As usual, comments and critiques make me happy so fire awayyyy :DDD

The bar is sparsely populated tonight. Which means that drinks can get to them at a faster rate and Sugai Yuuka is happily knocking back shots while her best friend and officemate casually keeps an eye on her from the corner of her vision.

“Hm, you might want to slow down there Yuuka.”

Gulping down her last shot, Yuuka gives her friend a lopsided grin and winces at the burning feeling in her throat.

“Thanks for coming with me, Akanen. I really needed this.”

“No problem. And hey, you know you got this, right? Nakayama-san wouldn’t have assigned you a junior if he didn’t have faith in you to guide them”

“It’s just that don’t you think it’s a little too early? I’m barely a senior but he already wants me to take a junior under my wing. I don’t know if I can do it”

Akane tries to smile reassuringly at her friend and hoped that it could ease her worries a bit. They’ve been working together for close to 3 years now and Akane has seen her fair share of Yuuka’s ups and downs. 

Now is one of those times and her insecurities have come back full force. The bar is one of their favorite haunts and a place where Yuuka would usually hang loose and calm her nerves with the help of a few alcoholic beverages.

She can knock back quite a few when she’s heavily stressed but let it be said that Yuuka definitely does  _ not _ have a high alcohol tolerance.

“Listen, I’ve known you for over 3 years and you are a hardworking worker.” Akane grabs at Yuuka’s hand, giving it a tight reassuring squeeze, “You’re smart and kind (and beautiful is what she wants to add but she’ll keep that comment to herself for now) and I’m sure any junior is lucky to have you!”

Akane laughs when she sees the tears in Yuuka’s eyes as she ducks her head away, the emotions getting a bit too much for her alcohol-addled brain.

“Thanks Akanen, you always know what to say to make me feel better”

“Anytime. Are you done moping or can we leave now?”

At that, Yuuka grins widely at her friend, “One more and we’re good to go!”

-

Turns out it was another 5 but who was Akane to complain when her friend has all but forgotten all her troubles and worries and is now leaning heavily against her without a care in the world.

It had been her mission after all, to help her relax. She hates it when her friend is troubled and she’d do anything to help her, even hauling her drunkard of a friend home whose gangly limbs are currently being very uncooperative right now.

“Geez. Yuuka, you said it was just ‘one more’!”

Akane hitches Yuuka’s weight higher on her shoulders as they stumble out of the door of the bar and into the cold night. 

Her friend sags heavily against her, drunkenly mumbling out a few protests.

“M’srry”, Yuuka mutters out an apology just as her legs tangle, nearly toppling them both much to her annoyance.

Akane huffs. At this rate they’ll never reach home in time. Mind made up she shifts to the front of her uncooperative friend, securing her friend’s leaden arms around her neck and hoists her by the thighs and on to her back, effectively carrying her deadweight. 

She blushes faintly at the feel of Yuuka’s soft thighs in her hands and sucked in a breath when a cold nose starts to nuzzle into her neck. “Mm, you smell nice”, Yuuka murmurs while she not so discreetly sniffs at her friend’s neck.

“S-stop that or I’m dropping you!”

“Nooooo, you wouldn’t!”

“Well, stop sniffing me and let me concentrate. We’re almost at my apartment.”

“Why are we going to your apartment?” 

“This one's nearer, and I’m not about to carry you half-way across the city to yours”, Akane huffs out while Yuuka falls silent.

It’s late, and Yuuka’s apartment is on the other side of the Tokyo compared to hers. Yuuka wasn’t actually a stranger to her home after all, she’s visited plenty of times before and had often stayed late into the night discussing or finishing work, so much so that Akane even designated an empty drawer for her to store some clothes and toiletries. 

(and she might’ve even kept a blanket especially for Yuuka too but she’ll never admit it)

Their trek home was strangely quiet after that and the silence stretched on until they reached Akane’s apartment door. 

“We’re here.”

She feels Yuuka hum in acknowledgement, the vibrations causing goose bumps to erupt on the back of her neck as she lazily slides off Akane’s back.

“You know…” Yuuka starts contemplatively, her voice low and throaty and Akane has to suppress the shiver running through her, silently cursing the fact that her friend’s voice would always drop down an octave when she’s drunk. “…you could’ve just called me an Uber.”

Akane blanches in response, “W-well, I’m not going to just let you go home when you’re this wasted. Besides, I don’t want people to take advantage of you in this condition.”

The throaty giggle that follows made her quickly turn her back on her friend, hiding her reddening cheeks as she leads them deeper into her apartment, turning on the lights on her way while Yuuka trails absentmindedly behind her.

“I’m glad you brought me to your home. I’ve always liked it… It’s so… you”, Yuuka sighs as she drops herself onto a couch, letting out a pleased groan that sounded almost too sensual for Akane’s liking.  _ Get it together Moriya! She’s drunk! _

Shrugging nonchalantly to hide her fluster, Akane moves towards her sink and fills up a glass with cool water.

“Well, yeah. I pay for all of this after all”, she said in response, strutting over to Yuuka and pressing the cool glass of water to her cheek, silently urging her to drink before plopping herself next to her and turning the TV on.

Yuuka beams in thanks and gulps down the water in one go before continuing her musing.

“I like it here better than mine. It’s warm and it smells like you. I like your smell, did you know that?” she reclines her head back and purses her lips. At Akane’s silence, she tilted her head towards her friend, ignoring the slight deer-caught-in-headlights look she’s giving her and gazed at her questioningly while she waited for an answer.

Mouth opening and closing at the candid admission, Akane was speechless for a moment before she huffs in exasperation and flicks Yuuka’s forehead in annoyance, smiling triumphantly at her squawk of pain.

A drunk Sugai Yuuka is… something else. When all her inhibitions fade away, it gives way for a more openly affectionate and clumsier than usual woman who is usually seen as shy and reserved in front of her peers. 

Akane knows this. She’s seen it plenty of times before.

They’ve gone out drinking with their co-workers plenty of times before but Yuuka would always be reserved in her drinking. She only ever lets loose when it’s just the two of them, where they get together after hours and gossip about the latest office romance happening in their midst, or complaining about incompetent co-workers and slightly more than normal workloads and in Yuuka’s case, her lack of confidence in taking a junior under her wing. 

“Don’t be a pervert, you sound like an old man with a smell fetish”, Akane grins.

“But it’s true!”

“What? That you’re secretly an old man with a smell fetish?”

Akane dodges the throw pillow clumsily thrown her way and laughs at her own joke before yelping when Yuuka barrels into her and awkwardly lies on top of her. A lot of maneuvering was involved before Yuuka settled herself down with her head on her lap, smiling contently up at her.

“It’s my favorite and you’re my favorite person.” 

See, Akane loves this open and affectionate side of her friend even though she’s slightly- okay, maybe more than slightly inebriated but she’s honest and sincere and perhaps there’s some truth to what she says or maybe that’s what Akane was secretly hoping, that the intimate touches and candidly said words were borne out of Yuuka maybe, just maybe having feelings for her too.

Is it too much wishful thinking? Because frankly, Akane has been harboring a crush on Yuuka ever since the first time she had taken her out for drinks after seeing her mope around the office. Since then they had become close friends and were often seen together after work hours when she wasn’t sent overseas.

But then again, she’s drunk and she may not mean what she says and she never remembers anything she said when morning comes which frustrates Akane to no end because she can’t call her out for it. 

(and she really  _ really _ wants to call her out for it so she can stop this ridiculous one-sided crush and get on with her life thank you very much)

Beneath her, Yuuka is half asleep, soothed by the rhythmic flow of Akane’s breathing and blissfully unaware of the turmoil currently plaguing her friend above her. 

Noticing her friend’s half-asleep state, Akane carefully tries to extract herself from under Yuuka, gently cradling her head and setting her down onto a pillow.

“You’re my favorite too by the way,” she whispers close to her and Yuuka lets out a pleased hum before finally succumbing to sleep. 

Crouched over her friend’s slumbering form, she carefully tries to take off her blazer and unbutton the first few buttons of her work shirt, at the same time reminding herself to avert her eyes from exposed skin to protect her friend’s modesty. 

Once done, she grabs the blanket that she would never in a million years admit that she kept especially for Yuuka and tucks her in, making sure that she was comfortable before heading into her own bedroom.

Her responsibilities as designated drunk-friend caretaker is officially done for the night.

It’s time to call it a night.

-

The next morning, she wakes up to the shrill ringing of her alarm clock. She sleepily paws at her bedside table, finding her phone and turns her alarm off before she proceeds to check her mail.

_ 5 messages from Yuuka _

She taps on the message icon and is then greeted by a good morning followed by multiple apologies.

_ Good morning!! Sorry I had to leave early, I made sure to fold the blanket and cleaned everything up!! _

_ And I’m soooo sorry if I said anything weird to you last night! _

_ Omg I didn’t vomit on you did I?? _

_ Did I?? oh gosh _

_ I am soooo sorry, breakfast is on me tomorrow! Same time, same place?? _

Akane snorts. Worrywart Yuuka is at it again.

She typed out a quick reply detailing what happened last night minus the drunken admissions then rolled onto her back and stared blankly at the ceiling. 

Typical of Yuuka to forget everything that happened while she was drunk while Akane felt as if her heart had stopped beating after every spontaneous bout of affection spewed by her.

“This sucks”, she mumbles to no one in particular.

Being the designated drunk-friend caretaker  _ sucks _ . Having to listen to your said drunk-friend that you may have a bit of a crush on drunkenly exclaiming her affection for you but not remembering when she’s sober  _ sucks _ .

And Akane does not know how long she can keep up the pretense.

-

_ Ring Ring! _

“Hey?”

“Hi, is this...” a short pause, “Akanen?”

The rapid clack-clacking of her typing abruptly stops at the question, dread forming a cold ball in the pit of her stomach.

“Who is this?” she hisses, abruptly standing and startling her co-workers around her as she starts to collect her coat and briefcase. “Why do you have my friend’s phone?”

“Woah woah relax, I’m the bartender from the bar down the road. Your friend here had a little too many to drink and some of the other patrons are getting a little bit too handsy for my liking.”

“Oh”, Akane deflates, the umbrella she had wielded like a bat ready to swing at the person who dared to steal her friend’s phone steadily drops back to her side.

“Yeah, can you come and get your girl?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll be there in 10”, she answers, jabbing at the elevator button with such fervor as if that could make the elevator go down any faster and sputters out, “and she’s not my girl!”

“Make that 5, I think Mr.Handsy is going to make a move” the bartender answers, ignoring her sputtered denial. 

As soon as the elevator doors open she shoulders her way past the other employees and speed walks to her destination, determination and a sense of protectiveness blazing in her. As promised she reaches the bar in 5 minutes and almost slams the door open in her haste, steely eyes start to scan the bar for her friend.

Yuuka is sitting at the bar, head in her folded arms while a tall man in a cheap business suit sits next to her, a hand casually placed at her back. Any lower and he’ll have reached dangerous territories. 

The bartender is standing not too far away from them, wiping down glasses and keeping a wary eye on them. Once he catches sight of Akane’s brazen entrance, he smiles minutely and inclines his head towards his two unaware customers.

Akane quickly stomps over, her heels click-clacking on the tiled floors and smoothly slides into the seat on Yuuka’s other side, “Hey! Sorry I’m late, you weren’t waiting too long were you?” she ignores the surprise on the man’s face and the quickly retracted hand as she signals the bartender over. Quickly ordering a drink and a glass of water for Yuuka she then turns to look at the fidgeting man next to her friend, arching an impassive eyebrow she asked, “Who’s this?”

“Ah I um-“

Yuuka who just noticed her friend’s presence blearily lifts her head and looks to her side, surprise evident on her face and seemingly unaware of the tension surrounding her “Akanen? You’re here?”

“Of course silly, why wouldn’t I be?” she answers and points her chin impatiently towards the man beside Yuuka, “Who’s your new friend?”

“Oh! This is Tachibana-san, he works at the office downtown”

The man in question sheepishly grins at her and quickly averts his gaze when Akane’s sharp eyes lands on him.

“Tachibana-san this is Akanen, she’s my friend that I told you about! Isn’t she pretty?

“O-oh yes! Definitely!”

“We were just talking about you you know and he invited me to his apartment and I asked if it was ok to bring you along and he said the more the merrier!”

Akane narrows her eyes at the man, head tilted to the side as she clenches her jaw in barely suppressed anger, “and what did you plan on doing with us when we reach your apartment Tachibana-san?”

“Uhm-that is-…uhh-! “, the man squeaks and nearly trips in his haste to leave, “ex-excuse me!” and left a smug looking Akane and an adorably confused Yuuka.

“Well that was rude, I wasn’t finished talking”, Yuuka pouts then turns to smile dopily at her chuckling friend, “Hi”.

“Hey” Akane grins back.

They sat there smiling softly at each other when the bartender interrupts the moment with a cough and two tall glasses, “Your drinks ladies”.

Akane nods in thanks, pushing the glass of water to Yuuka. She hid her amused grin behind the rim of her glass as she took in Yuuka’s dumbfounded expression at the water she’s sipping.

“This is just water”

“Yup”

“But I wanted a drink”

“and that  _ is _ a drink”

“but it’s not a  _ drink _ drink”

Akane throws her head back and laughs heartily while Yuuka glares at the glass of water in her hand as if it had offended her.

“Yuuka you’re drunk”

“m’not! I only had a couple”, Yuuka leans heavily into Akane, her body shaking in time with the rumbling laughter next to her as Akane pulls her closer into her side.

“Yeah a couple and you’re already drunk as a skunk”

At that, Yuuka falls into a fit of giggles, “Skunks”, she snorts, “you’re funny Akanen and nice, so so nice. You’re so nice to me. You make me feel safer than anyone ever has”.

Akane freezes at the slurred admission, heart lodged in her throat. Her chest swells with unbridled hope leaving her a little breathless. 

It’s happening again. Yuuka and her unrestrained words that she will soon forget when the alcohol leaves her system leaving Akane tormented with memories of drunken admissions that she could do nothing about. She’s always been a woman of action, and to not be able to do anything about the words said is making her kind of frustrated, when in reality she feels the same way too.

She hopes she’ll get her answers somewhere in the near future, preferably with no alcohol involved. 

Tonight however she should get her friend home. 

She squeezes Yuuka’s shoulders and sighs “We should get you home”.

“Yeah, home’s nice. Especially when you’re there, it’s always nicer when you’re around”, she mumbles while gazing up at her with heavy-lidded eyes. Akane smiles softly in return, her frustration forgotten. 

She starts to gather Yuuka’s things with one arm while Yuuka is snuggling into her side holding her other arm hostage.

The bartender who was discreetly hovering nearby came up to them with a small knowing smile, “She talked a lot about you you know, told me to call you here because and I quote, “Akanen will come get me! She always does that’s why she’s my favorite!” 

His impression of Yuuka was almost spot on she admits. 

She laughs with the bartender and looks to her side when Yuuka detaches herself from her side. Leaning heavily onto the bar top, she tries her best to stay upright, waving away Akane’s steadying hands “First of all I do not sound like that”, she holds up a finger and wiggles it in front of the bartender’s amused face then she turns towards Akane, a serious look in her eyes that makes Akane forgets for a second that her friend is absolutely shitfaced right now “and secondly, you’re my best friend, and you’re really nice and sometimes- sometimes I really just want to kiss you”.

Akane sucks in a breath, she knows that she’s probably turning really red right now. She is very much aware of the bartender’s eyes on the both of them, but at that moment, with Yuuka gazing at her so openly, it felt as if it was just the two of them right there and then.

“And I could, I really could but there’s like 5 of you right now and I really don’t know which one I should kiss“.

Ah and there it is. 

Reality comes crashing in as Akane realizes once again that the words spoken then were not of her own volition. She releases a shuddering breath and tries to collect herself, “You don’t mean that”, and if she had looked closely, forgetting her disappointment just for a little while, something akin to disappointment flashes across Yuuka’s eyes.

“You’re drunk, and I should really take you home”.

She could feel the pity radiating off the bartender as she busies herself with trying to get her money out of her purse and ushering Yuuka towards the door.

“Frankly speaking” he leans in close, startling Akane and whispers conspirationally, “I think she likes you and not in a ‘just a friend way too’” and ends the conversation with a warm knowing smile and walks away to attend to another patron calling for his attention.

Akane purses her lips in thought and takes out a few extra bills for the tip jar, tipping the bartender generously for his help (and his observation skills) and walks over to Yuuka who was leaning heavily against the door frame, watching the rainfall with an unreadable expression.

“Here”, she opens the umbrella and pulls Yuuka closer, sheltering her from the light drizzle. Yuuka looks at her with a small grateful smile and winds her arm into the crook of Akane’s elbow, as they make their way steadily down the street.

The walk towards Yuuka’s apartment was quiet save for the tuneless humming beside her and Akane was left wondering to herself if what she had heard at the bar had really happened or was it all just a fever dream.

When they reached their destination, Akane ushers Yuuka into her bedroom and helps her out of her clothes then tucks her in. A tall glass of water and two aspirins are placed on her nightstand for her imminent hangover tomorrow.

All the while, Yuuka sleepily allows herself to be cared for (or manhandled really but she doesn’t mind it if it’s Akanen) and sighs contently into her pillow while Akane tucks her in.

When she makes a move to leave, Yuuka, already half-asleep, grabs blindly in the dark searching for her target and sighs happily when she finds her hand, grasping it tightly.

“Yuuka?” Akane stops, already half-way from getting up the bed and sits back down.

“Stay?”

At the pleading whisper, Akane’s heart was torn. She had planned on going home, to open the bottle of red wine that Yuuka had left for her months back, to nurse her heartache and to stop thinking about how badly she wants to kiss Yuuka too. 

“Please?”

She sighs at that. “…ok”

She never really could deny her when she’s soft and vulnerable like this. Especially when she’s practically beaming when she said yes. 

_ God she is so whipped! _

Akane stays with her until her breathing slows, a hand tenderly tucking in a stray strand of hair away from her face and tries very hard not to take the moment to stare at her sleeping features (she fails)

It’s already late, and like Yuuka, she too has her own set of clothing and toiletries left at the apartment in case something like this happens. As she makes her way out of the bedroom, she pauses by the doorway and looks longingly back at the sleeping figure of her friend before sighing resignedly and closing the door shut.

-

“Akanen?”

Akane opens her eyes blearily to the surprised voice, momentarily forgetting where she was. 

“Oh right, I stayed over” she thinks to herself.

Currently, Yuuka is peering down at her with a confused expression from above the sofa she had settled herself into last night.

Yuuka fidgets above her before blurting out, “Did…did I ask you to stay?” and at the wordless nod from the woman below her she immediately flushes pink. 

“Oh no, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I-“

“I would have stayed regardless”, Akane cuts her apologies short and stretches, making Yuuka avert her eyes away from the sight of an exposed midriff.

“Still, I shouldn’t have asked you to stay, it was very inconsiderate of me”

“Well” Akane grins, “you could always make it up with breakfast?”

The shy smile that slowly bloomed on Yuuka’s face made her stomach flutter. She clears her throat as she got up and busies herself by folding the blankets and tidying up “I expect nothing but the best and I want the pastries from Sadaharu”

“The glazed donuts or the croissants?”

“Both” Akane answers absentmindedly as she walks towards the drawer where her things are kept and rifles through with her back towards Yuuka.

“Akanen?”

“Hm?”

“Last night…did I- did I say anything embarrassing to you?”

Akane pauses in her rifling, she was glad that her back was towards Yuuka at the moment because she definitely cannot hide the disappointment and conflict that she knows is currently showing on her face right now. 

Taking a deep breath and puts on what she hopes is a cheery smile and turns towards her friend who was nervously rubbing at the back of her neck.

“Nope! Nothing more than the usual drunken conversation”

Relieved, Yuuka lets out a breath, “Oh, okay that’s- that’s good” and she catches herself, “not that I should bother you with my drunken conversations, I mean I shouldn’t bother you at all because you’re a busy woman and I’m sorry that you have to put up with-!”

“Yuuka” 

She stops her nervous rambling when she feels Akane’s hands on her shoulders and looks up into her friend’s smiling face.

“You don’t need to apologize, you’re my best friend after all”

“Ah y-yeah”

“Good” Akane nods and pushes Yuuka towards her bedroom, “now go get ready, I’m hungry and you owe me breakfast”

“O-ok”

The door to the bedroom shuts with a click and an “I’ll be quick!” and Akane was left alone to stew in her thoughts.

Honestly, she really does not know if she can keep this up any longer. 

She’s well aware of the fact that she could probably tell Yuuka the truth, that she had unwittingly confessed her secret desire to kiss her and most probably revealed her feelings. But then, what if it wasn’t what she was truly feeling? That it was just some mistake that her inebriated state had conjured and she never truly had feelings for her in the first place? Where in the end you could just backtrack and say ‘blame it all on the alcohol right?’ and forget it ever happened.

“Akanen? I’m ready”

And as they sat in the café with their breakfast, Yuuka rambling on about the project she’s currently working on, looking all excited and oh so  _ beautiful _ , Akane thinks that maybe keeping her feelings to herself was for the best if it meant that she could keep her best friend. 

She was not ready to let her heart break over a one-sided crush or over something that never actually happened in her friend’s mind and potentially ruining a friendship in the process.

She just couldn’t lose Yuuka.

-

The plane ride from South Korea was especially turbulent today. Akane had just finished meeting a client there and has just touched down.

While waiting for her baggage, she texted Yuuka, asking her where she was so they could meet up for some drinks and do come catching up together. 

However, she hasn’t answered her texts and she was starting to worry. Maybe she should ask Hono-chan, after all the two of them are always together working given that Yuuka was assigned as her mentor.

_ Hey Hono-chan, you wouldn’t happen to know where Sugai is would you? _

A few minutes pass and her phone chirped, signaling a new message.

_ I think she might be on the rooftop, she said she needed a little air. _

Rooftop?

_ Did something bad happen? _

_ Oh no, nothing of that sort! We were celebrating about the finalization of the project and I guess the crowd was getting a bit too much for her. _

Akane released a shuddering breath, relieved.

_ Ok thanks Hono-chan and congrats! _

_ Thank you Moriya-Senpai! Have a safe trip back home! :) _

She’d planned to meet up with Yuuka later tonight for their customary catch up sessions like they always do when she comes back from an overseas assignment but maybe she’ll stop by the office first instead.

Once her Uber drops her off in front of the office building, she sets out for the rooftop in search of Yuuka. She takes the stairs two at a time and by the time she reaches the rooftop she’s already huffing and puffing to catch her breath. 

Pushing the heavy door open, her gaze immediately sought after the familiar silhouette of her friend and she finds her leaning against the rooftop’s railing, a half-full bottle of beer dangling from her fingertips. Lost in thought.

She quietly makes her way towards Yuuka and slides in next to her, gently bumping her shoulder.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Akanen!” Yuuka turns towards her in surprise and clumsily falls into her friend’s arms, hugging her tightly, “I missed you”, she breathes out.

Akane chuckles into her hair, “I was only gone for a few days you know”.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll always miss you” Yuuka mumbles into her neck and Akane feels her heart skip a beat. She immediately misses the warmth of her friend as she staggers away from her, her hands were already quick to steady her.

“What are you doing up here?”

Yuuka shrugs and turns away from Akane to look up at the sky. The moon was in full view tonight, the stars gently twinkling in the dark expanse of the night sky.

“Just thinking”

“About?”

Yuuka shrugs again and begins to strip herself off of her pea coat. She crouches down and lays it on the ground before settling herself on top of it and laid down fully.

“Yuuka?”

“Come lie with me?” she says and shifts further to the side, patting the ground next to her.

Akane eyes the ground in disdain, she’s going to have to go to the dry cleaners tomorrow but Yuuka had looked up at her so earnestly that she caved. She’s always been a sucker for those eyes.

Carefully she lowers herself and lies down next to her and Yuuka immediately shifts closer. 

The warmth radiating from her is comforting at least.

Out of the corner of her eyes she spies a few empty bottles of beer. “Ah” she thinks, “better prepare myself then”.

They lay there in silence and she had thought that Yuuka had fallen asleep like she always does when she’s drunk but then, “Do you have something that”, her head lolls to the side seeking Akane’s gaze, “that you just know you’ll never have the chance of having?”

Akane gulps. 

Here it goes. What was she trying to imply?

“I suppose I do” she answers cryptically and Yuuka nods understandingly at the answer and remains quiet.

“Is-is this about work? Did something happen?” and Yuuka shakes her head no at that leaving Akane stumped.

Silence reigns over them again. The faint sounds of the traffic below is almost lulling her to sleep, exhaustion from her traveling slowly creeping in.

“The stars are beautiful tonight”, Yuuka whispers gazing up wistfully at the sky and Akane follows her gaze.

It really is a beautiful night with the stars out in the open and without a single cloud in sight.

“Yeah”, she whispers her answer, afraid that if she said it any louder it would break the tranquility surrounding them and lead to something that she would regret.

“Like you”

And there it is. 

It felt as if she was kicked in the chest, leaving her feeling like she’s choking on air. Her heart seizes in a vice grip but her face remains stoic. 

“Conceal, don’t feel,” Elsa’s voice suddenly rings in her head and she thinks to herself, “Damn I really shouldn’t have let Yuuka talk me into watching that movie”.

Yuuka however remains unaware of Akane’s roiling thoughts as she reaches out into the sky with her hand splayed out as if she were trying to catch the stars above.

“You’re beautiful just like a star”, she clenches her splayed hand into a fist and brings it down towards her chest right where her heart is and Akane could do nothing but look at her as she was rendered speechless, but then Yuuka turns towards her, clenched fist still on her heart and says, “unattainable like one too”.

“Yuuka…” her mouth feels too dry suddenly, she wets her lips and whispers hoarsely, carefully “you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying”.

And she could’ve sworn that the smile Yuuka responded her with was laced with heartbreak but again it could just be her wishful thinking again. (she’s drunk she tells herself, she’s drunk she’s drunk she’s  _ drunk _ )

“Ok” Yuuka whispers then turns away from her and lies on her other side. 

Akane watches her back, counting her breaths until it slows and steadies, and she soon realizes that she had fallen asleep.

She releases a shaky breath and choked back a sob with the back of her hand. It felt like her chest was breaking in two and everything just came rushing out like a broken dam.

And everything  _ hurts _ .

And she knows that she’s already at her limit as she lays there and silently cries and  _ cries _ with only the stars as her witness and her dozing drunk friend next to her.

-

Things were different between them after that night.

She was left exhausted after the dam had burst but still she picked herself up and woke Yuuka up from her drunken slumber. She had called an Uber, gave very specific instructions that he was to bring Yuuka home and see her safely up to her apartment or he’d face her wrath (he was paid handsomely of course, she’s not a barbarian). 

She just doesn’t think she could stand being near Yuuka without bursting into tears again.

Strangely enough, Yuuka had become distant too. She doesn’t text and call her as frequently as she used to or appear at her office door for a quick chat or ask her out for lunch or their customary after-work dinner. 

It lasted for nearly a whole week. 

A whole agonizing week.

And frankly, Akane was kind of glad. 

She needed the time to mend the broken pieces of her heart before she could face her again and go back to pretending as if she hadn’t had her chest torn into two.

She just needed time.

-

She doesn’t know why her body decided to bring her here. 

Here meaning, Yuuka’s apartment.

Her best friend’s apartment.

Her best friend who she had been actively avoiding for the last week.

Her best friend who she stupidly has a crush on.

Her best friend who spews out confessions left and right when she’s drunk and forgets everything come morning.

The grip she has on her 3rd bottle of wine that night is dangerously loose as she tries to muster enough strength to knock on the familiar door in front of her. 

She fails spectacularly so she just lets her head do the knocking. Yuuka did once say that she was hard-headed, figuratively speaking of course but now quite literally as she now discovers as she rubs the sore spot on her forehead, wincing.

The muffled sound of rushing footsteps greets her before the door was yanked backward hard enough that the hinges creak pitifully and the beautiful, harried face of one Sugai Yuuka appears before her.

“Akane!” she blurts, eyes wide as she takes in the sight before her. 

In her drunken haze, Akane had come to her apartment in her pajama shorts and a tank top. Thankfully she had remembered to put a coat on.

“Heyy, long time no see stranger”, her words slurring as Yuuka ushers her inside and closes the door behind her. 

“Akane…you’re drunk”

“Yup”, she pops the ‘P’ exaggeratedly and took a large swig out of the half-empty wine bottle and takes in her surroundings, “You know, your place isn’t half bad. I don’t know why you insist on coming over to mine so much”

“Well I uh-“

“I like your place too by the way-”, she stumbles and manages to land herself on Yuuka’s couch and waved away Yuuka’s panicked outstretched arms.

“Akane, is something wrong? Did-did something happen? How much did you drink?” Yuuka asks as she gently tries to pry the wine bottle away from loose fingers, setting it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Umph, dunno, 3 or 4…”

“Glasses?”

“Bottles”, Akane corrects her and giggles as she leans heavily against the taller girl, “Mm, you’re so warm,” she says and snuggles closer.

“A-akane?”

“Shhh, you talk too much”, Akane giggles again, shushing Yuuka’s stuttering with a clumsy finger on her lips and leans in close, making her flush a deep red at their close proximity.

“But I like it when you talk, I like hearing your voice”, Yuuka’s eyes widen as she follows Akane’s pink tongue as it darts out and wets her lips torturously slow.

“You’re so beautiful but you always deny it. You’re selfless and kind and hardworking”, Akane breathes out, inching closer towards Yuuka. Her breath was sweet with remnants from the wine, a heady scent that was making her head spin.

“and I don’t know why you always look down on yourself when you’re such an amazing human being”, she gently cradles Yuuka’s jaw in her hands, pulling her just a little bit closer and causing her to whimper.

“Akane…” 

“Shh…you made me fall in love with you, did you know that?” Yuuka’s eyes widen and her heart is skipping wildly in her chest like that of a galloping horse.

“You, Sugai Yuuka made me fall madly and irrevocably in love with you”, she whispers out her final confession and ends it with a chaste kiss to unresponsive lips then pulls back to look at her in the eyes.

“I- Akane…I”, Yuuka stutters and Akane giggles blearily at that, “While I may love everything about you Sugai Yuuka, the one thing I hate about you is your indecisiveness”

That made Yuuka pause and she watches as Akane stands and stretches before picking up the forgotten bottle of wine and stumbles her way towards her bedroom.

“I am going to go finish this bottle of  _ very _ expensive wine” she shakes the bottle in question, ”and I am going to sleep. Good night Yuuka”

Akane shuts the door behind her, leaving Yuuka trying to process everything that happened.

She didn’t sleep the whole night.

-

Her head is pounding, and Akane momentarily wishes that she was dead right now. It takes a moment, but soon she realizes that the sheets beneath her are not her own, hers are silk and the one beneath her is cotton. 

Even the pillows smell different but comforting. Familiar.

She braved her chances and peeks an eye open only to hiss and groan when bright light hits her.

“S-sorry!” 

She vaguely hears the door closing shut and feels the mattress dip with a new weight next to her.

“Here”

Opening her eyes again, she sees the glass of water held in front of her and takes it, gulping it down in mouthfuls and chasing away the cottony feel in her mouth.

“Thanks”

Yuuka nods, eyes never meeting Akane’s as she sets the empty glass on the nightstand. 

Akane, sensing the tension in the room knows something must have happened last night judging from Yuuka’s fidgeting so she decides to ask, “What happened?”

Startled out of her silence, Yuuka turns to look at Akane, with something akin to guilt in her eyes.

“You uhm- you came here, drunk”

“Oh. Did I-did I say something to you?”

“Yes”

“Oh…what was it? And sorry I took your bed”

“It’s alright, I would’ve asked you to take it anyways”, she smiles shyly and Akane felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the sight.

“Uhm- you said some things last night”

“Things?”

“Y-yeah”

“Ok. I’m sorry they made you uncomfortable, I can leave if you want?” she starts to try to get out of the blankets when Yuuka hurriedly stops her, “No! Don’t leave!”

“Yuuka?” 

“I-“, she takes a deep breath, “I remembered everything”

“Excuse me?” Akane’s brow furrows questioningly.  _ If this is what she thinks it is… _

“I remember everything. After the first time it happened, I woke up so embarrassed that I had to leave immediately thinking how stupid I was to just blurt out those things to you” 

“And that night on the rooftop” Yuuka starts and Akane sucks in a sharp breath, remembering all too well the moment she had broken down silently next to her supposedly slumbering friend.

“I knew you were crying but I was too much of a coward to face you and I felt so bad, so so bad that I hurt you that much and I couldn’t- I couldn’t face you afterward”, tears had gathered at the corner of her eyes and she hastily wipes them away with the back of her hand all the while Akane had stayed quiet as she listens.

“I didn’t forget anything. I’m a coward, I was stupid and drinking just brings the worse in me and I should have stopped that first time it happened and I’m so so  _ sorry _ that I hurt you” she gasps in a breath, growing anxious at Akane’s silence.

“Please…please say something”

At the moment, the room felt stifling and the silence deafening as her eyes searches for any reaction on Akane’s stoic face. Akane herself was a picture of cool and composed but if Yuuka were to look closely, she’d have noticed how her eyes were red and watery and how her hands shook beneath the blankets.

“Akane?”

“So we’re both idiots then?” Akane’s lips quirked upwards as she huffs a breath, shaking her head in disbelief.

“W-what?”

“I remember last night, I wasn’t as drunk as you believed me to be”

Yuuka sucks in a breath, brows furrowed in confusion, “Why?”

Akane shrugs then grins, “Payback I suppose and like you, I may have needed a little liquid courage to blurt it all out”

Eyes widening in realization, Yuuka feels a little bit of hope blooming in her chest, “You mean you-!”

A pair of warm lips meet hers in a tender kiss, it was nothing like the sudden chaste kiss last night. This was warm and sweet and Yuuka feels herself melting into it and she sighs when she feels Akane’s hands cradling her face and pulling her closer. 

It was all that she could have ever dreamed of and she hopes that it means what she thinks it might mean.

They parted after what seems like a lifetime, and Yuuka had to suppress a shiver when she eyes the way Akane was licking her lips tantalizingly as she parts from her.

“I was getting impatient, I really wanted to kiss you, properly this time” she whispers and chuckles at Yuuka’s astonished face.

“Does this mean that you like me too?”

“Yuuka, I love you and I meant all those things I said to you. To be honest, you gave me so much false hope when you said all those things when you were drunk and didn’t remember any of it when you were sober” she links their fingers together and squeezed, “And I would’ve just given up on the idea of an ‘us’ after that night. I was hurt, really  _ really _ hurt but deep down I guess I still believed that all the things that you confessed might be true.

Yuuka nods her head understandingly “I’m sorry that I was a coward and that I had hurt you”

“I guess I’ve always had those feelings for you, buried so deep that it only surfaced when alcohol was in play and I couldn’t fathom the thought of someone like you liking me back”

“Someone like me?” Akane grins cheekily and Yuuka chuffs, “Well yeah! You’re beautiful and smart and nice! You couldn’t possibly like me back when I’m”, she gestures the rest of her body, “me!”

Akane shakes her head and squeezes their interlocked hands in assurance, “Well I happen to like you too very much Ms. Sugai Yuuka, even when you’re drunk as a skunk” she giggles when Yuuka playfully swats at her shoulder.

“I was stubborn too, I should’ve just confronted you on it but I didn’t so yeah, I guess I’m at fault too”

They chuckled, relieved to have finally cleared the awkward air between them when Yuuka starts to fidget again prompting Akane to squeeze her hand questioningly.

“Can I kiss you?”

And Akane laughs at that, full-blown raucous laughter as she is suddenly reminded of how all this had happened in the first place.

“Yeah and this time you don’t need to be drunk to kiss me too”

They kissed. They kissed and they  _ kissed _ . 

And this time there were no hesitations.

No boundaries.

It was both freeing and relieving to have finally crossed that line of ‘what ifs’.

And this time they were both sober enough to remember everything.


End file.
